40 And Fulfilled: Wisdom I Wish I Knew In My 20s And 30s

This month, I turned 40 years old and let me tell you, it hits differently. It's the kind of milestone that makes you look back on your whole journey and think about all the lessons you learned along the way. I mean, if I could sit down with my 20-year-old self or maybe even my 30-year-old self, this is what I tell him. Here are 40 lessons that have shaped my life, my perspective, and my purpose. So whether you're in your 20s, 30s, or even older, I hope you find something here that speaks to you. Number one, find your foundation, not just your direction. When I was younger, I thought success was about having a big grand old vision, but it's not just about direction. It's about the foundation you build under the vision. Success isn't climbing a mountain. It's building brick by brick. I spent years chasing wrong things. Things that I thought maybe would make me happy. Only to realize that I was building someone else's dream. The key is to make sure your foundation aligns with your values. Not just about where you're going, it's about what you're actually standing on. In my 20s, I used to hustle so hard. I forget to ask myself, is this really the life I want? It took hitting a few walls to realize that speed means nothing without clarity. Number two, health is wealth. I know this sounds cliche, but let me say this loud and clear. Your health is that something you can compromise on. In my 20s, I thought late nights and fast food and minimal sleep would be a part of the grind, but then I hit my 30s and my body was like, yo, you can't keep this up. I remember I once pulled a three-day workbench where I barely slept. Thinking I was unstoppable. I ended up in the ER with exhaustion. That's when I realized energy is a given its earn. If you don't prioritize your health now, you're definitely going to pay for later. Number three, your habits shape your life. I used to think mass success required massive changes. But what I've learned is that small habits, done daily, create the biggest shift over time. It's not about making giant leaps. It's about showing up consistently. So if you're trying to level up, don't focus on the end goal alone. Focus on what you're doing today. If you want to get fit, start with 10 push-ups. You want to grow your business, make that one cold call. It's like daily actions that build that momentum. Number four, no one is coming to save you. I know this one hits hard and people hate to hear it, but it's the truth. No one's coming to save you. And honestly, I think it's a good thing. See, you're your own rescue plan. And once you accept that, you can start creating the life you actually want. When I was broke, hustling out of my mom's house, I kept waiting for some big break or a lucky opportunity. It wasn't too a lot to fool ownership of my life. Stop blaming circumstances and start to take in actions that things actually change. The pain of staying stuck was worse than the pain of doing the work. Number five, the clock is ticking. If there's one thing that I've learned is that time waits for no one. I've seen firsthand how quickly life can change, whether it's through unexpected challenges or missed opportunity. Tomorrow simply isn't guaranteed. So if you're waiting for the right time, stop. Right time is right now. There's a quote that everybody knows and you should know it too. And it goes, the best time to plan a tree was 20 years ago. And the second best time is right now. So stop procrastinating and build the life you actually want. Number six, I use this even till today. Fail fast, learn even faster. Failure isn't the enemy. Failure or the fear of failure is. You see, I used to be terrified of messing up. But the truth is, failure is how you actually grow. Every missed step teaches you something you don't know before. Over the years, I've had around a dozen businesses that didn't work out. Each one was a lesson in disguise. At the time, I thought those failures felt massive. But looking back, they were just training sessions. Every mistake I made taught me something I needed to know. If you take those lessons, one by one, and you apply them to your next venture, eventually your mistakes get smaller, your processes get sharper, and you realize every single step back was just a step and stone to success. Number seven, the people around you matter. You see, your environment is either going to push you forward or hold you back. Choose your circle wisely. Surround yourself with people who challenge you, inspire you, but most importantly, keep you accountable. In my 30s, I realized some relationships were draining, more than they were adding to my life. Listen, I know letting go isn't easy, but it made space for the people who truly uplifted me. Don't let comparison still your joy. See, we live in a world of highlights. Social media seems like everyone's living their best life. But here's the thing. You're only seeing their wins, not their struggles. You need to be running your own race. In my mid to late 20s, I used to scroll through Instagram and think, why am I not there yet? It took me years to realize comparison is the default joy. You need to focus on your own path. Number nine, leadership starts with you. You can't lead others into you can lead yourself. And leadership isn't about having all the answers. It's about living with intention and inspiring others by your own example. You see, when I started my first team, I thought being a leader meant telling people what to do. I quickly learned. I mean, I quickly learned that it's about listening, guiding, and showing up to be the best version of yourself every single day. Number 10, it's never too late to start again. No matter where you are in life, you always have the power to pivot. Your past doesn't define your future. Your actions today do. Starting over, I know it can feel overwhelming, but it's where the most incredible transformations actually happen. See, I've reinvented myself more times than I can count. Each time felt risky, but I always brought me closer to the life I truly wanted. The truth is, it's never too late to rewrite your story and pursue the future you actually deserve. Number 11, a lot of people hate this one, but public speaking is a superpower. Your ability to communicate clearly and confidently can open doors you could never imagine. It's not just about talking. It's about the connections, inspiring, and leading. I used to avoid public speaking like the plague, but the first time I stood in front of a crowd, and I shared my story, I realized how powerful it was, and not just for them, but for me, it's a skill worth developing no matter what field you're actually in. Number 12, your environment shapes your success, your physical, your mental, your social environment, all plays the role in your growth. If you're surrounded by clutter, negativity, or distractions, it's hard to actually focus on what matters. When I moved to Dubai, I didn't just change my address, I changed my entire environment. Being in place where ambition and innovation thrive inspired me to push my own boundaries. Number 13, progress is better than perfection. First of all, perfection is just a myth, and you chasing it will keep you stuck. Progress no matter how small allows you to move forward. I've learned done that is better than perfect. You can always improve as you go, but you can't fix what you never actually start. Number 14, a lot of you need to learn this word, and you need to learn how to say no. Every time you say yes to something that doesn't align with your goals, you're saying no to something that does. You got to protect your energy, your time. By learning to say no completely guilt-free. In my 30s, I used to say yes to every opportunity thinking I had to do it all. But I ended up burnt out, stretch to thin, learning to say no allowed me to focus on what really matters, and that was me and my future. Number 15, be curious, but not judgmental. Approach life with curiosity instead of judgment. When you're open to learning from people, experiences, you'll grow in ways you never expect it. I used to judge ideas that seem outside of my comfort zone, like investing internationally. When I leaned into curiosity instead, I discovered opportunities that I have never considered before, and this is why I say traveling is a must in your life. You have to travel because traveling allows you to have your own perspective. When you don't travel, you only have the perspective that other people give you. Number 16, embrace change even when it's uncomfortable. Listen, change is an animal. It's gonna happen, and resistant it only makes life harder. You need to lean into it, adapt, and trust. That is leading you somewhere better. You see, for me, moving to a new country was terrifying at first, but it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Every major growth moment I've had started with embracing change. Number 17, you are the architect of your own life. No one is responsible for your happiness, your success, or your fulfillment. You have the tools to design the life you want. It's up to you to use them. When I realized I was the one holding the pen, my whole perspective shifted. You can't blame others for the blueprint of a house that you're building. Number 18, rest is productive. In a world that glorifies hustle, it's easy to forget the rest is a part of the process. Trust me, I've done it myself. Taking time to recharge isn't lazy, it's necessary. I used to work myself into the ground, thinking it was the only way to succeed. But the truth is, I do my best when I'm rested and focused. Now I schedule downtime, like, I schedule all my meetings. Like, I literally will schedule a nap in my calendar. Number 19, your network is your net worth. I know you've heard this a bunch of time, but the people you know and how you show up for them can open doors money never could. Relationships are one of the greatest investments humans can ever make. Some of my biggest opportunities came from relationships. I built many, many years ago. You never know when you might need the key to your next chapter. And somebody else that you had a connection with is actually holding that. Number 20, confidence comes from action. Confidence isn't something you're born with. Don't let nobody tell you that. It's something you build by showing up and doing the work. Even when you're scared, I was uncomfortable when I closed my first real estate dealer or launched my first business, but I acted anyways. And every step forward, maybe believe in myself just a little bit more. Confidence is like a muscle. You gotta use it to grow it. Number 21, gratitude unlocks fulfillment. It's easy to focus on what's missing. For real happiness comes from appreciating what you already have. Gratitude shifts like your whole mindset and open doors for even more, more abundance. There was a time in my life where I felt stuff like nothing was going right. But I started ending each day by writing down three things that I was grateful for. It wasn't a magic fix, but it changed how I saw everything around me. Number 22 is gonna be hard, but you gotta learn to listen. We often listen to people just to respond not to actually understand. But when you truly listen to learn, connect, deeper, you'll gain insights, you'd otherwise just be completely missing out. Early in my career, I was so focused on being heard that I didn't listen enough. But when I started really hearing what people were saying, my relationships and my results improved dramatically. Number 23, I see people with this problem all the time. Focus on solutions, not problems. When you're facing challenge, it's easy to get stuck on what's wrong. But progress crumbs when you shift your energy and find solutions. And one of my first real estate deals, everything that could go wrong did. Instead of panicking, I sat down, I listed out every single possible solution. I worked through them one by one, and that mindset saved the deal. And it taught me a valuable lesson about resiliency. Number 24, be kind, even when it's hard. Kindness costs you nothing, but can mean everything to someone else. You never know what someone's going through, so choose kindness whenever you can. I've had days where a small act of kindness from a stranger or a friend completely turned my day around. It's a reminder that a small thing's matter. Number 25, discipline beats motivation. Motivation is fleeting. It's their one day and it's gone the next. Discipline on the other hand. It's what keeps you moving forward when motivation fades away. I mean, listen, there are mornings when I don't feel like getting up early. I'm putting in that work. But I do it anyways, because discipline is what gets results. You can't rely on motivation alone. I'm telling you, you can. Number 26, I used to hate hearing this. Money is a tool not a goal. But it's true. Chase and money for the sake of it will leave you completely empty. Instead, view money as a tool to create freedom. Opportunities and experiences that line with your values. You see, in my 20s, I thought money would solve all my problems. But in my 30s, I realize it's not the money. It's what you do with it that counts. Now, I focus on using it to build the life I actually want. Number 27, stop overthinking and start doing. The more you think, the more you delay progress. Clarity comes from action, not the other way around. When I started my first business, I spent weeks trying to perfect every detail before taking my first step. Eventually, I realized I just need to start. Taking that messy imperfect action taught me more than all the planning in the world could ever do. Now, this one may sound a contradiction to the one before. But number 28 is patience is a superpower. You see, good things do take time. In a world that rewards instant gratification, patience is rare and valuable trait that sets you apart. Some of the biggest success in my life come years after the initial effort. Trust the process even when it feels slow. Consistency over time always wins. I call it delayed gratification. Number 29, I believe this one changed everything for me in my life. Your mindset shapes your reality. What you believe about yourself and the world directly affects what you achieve. A positive growth oriented mind creates opportunities where other sea obstacles. In my early years, I had a scarcity mindset. I always worried there wasn't enough to go around by shifting to an abundance mindset. It changed everything. Suddenly, I saw opportunities instead of competition. And my life expanded in ways I could never have imagined. Number 30, learn something new every day. The moment you stop learning is the moment you stop growing. Make it a habit to learn something new daily. No matter how small it is, I committed to reading just 15 minutes a day. And over time that habit turned into a wealth of knowledge. And honestly, it shaped my career in life. The compound effect of learning is real. It helps you when you go out and you network. Because you can really talk about many different topics that may come up. Number 31, I had to learn this myself, forgive, but don't forget. Hold it on to grudges only ways you down. But that don't mean you have to forget the lesson. You need to forgive it your own pace, but let the experience guide you moving forward. There was a time when I carried resentment for someone who wrong me in business. When I finally let it go, it felt like weight had been lifted off of me. But I still use what I learned from that less situation to protect myself in the future. Number 32, invest in relationships and not just resources. Some of the greatest returns in life come from the relationships you build. Whether it's personal or professional, the effort you put into a meaningful connection to me, it always pays off. One of my mentors once told me, people forget what you say, but they remember how you made them feel. That's true. That advice has stuck with me in shape how I approach every single relationship in a life. Number 33, Chase Purpose, not popularity. Popularity fades, but purpose is lasting. If you focus on building something meaningful, the recognition will come as a buy product, not the actual gold. You see, in my 20s, I thought being known was the ultimate success, right? You at the top of the mountain. Now I realize making an impact matters far more than being noticed. Number 34, laugh more, stress less. Life is too short to take everything so seriously. Laughter isn't just a stress reliever. It's a way to connect with others and find joy in everyday. Some of my best memories of the times when things didn't go as planned, but we found a way to laugh through it anyways. It's just a reminder that perspective is everything. Number 35, trust your gun. I know sometimes we all get that feeling. But your intuition is often smarter than you realize. If something doesn't feel right, or if it feels absolutely right, trust that feeling. One of my best real estate deals happen because I trusted my gun. On paper, it looked completely risky. But something told me it was the right move. And it turned out to be one of my most popular investments yet. Number 36, I practice this till today. Focus on adding value. The more value you provide to others. The more success you'll attract. It's not about what you can get. It's about what you can actually give. When I started hosting meetups, my only goal was to help others. I had no idea that those meetups would lead to partnerships, referrals, and stronger network than I could ever imagine. Adding value is always the right move. Number 37, the hardest days teach the most. Your toughest moments are often your biggest teachers. Don't run from the struggle. It's where growth actually happens. When I hit rock bottom at 30, I thought it was the end. Looking back, those challenges gave me the tools and resilience I needed to succeed later on. See, the hardest days really prepare you for the best days. Number 38, take care of your mental health. I know as men, we seem neglect this, especially black men, but it's just like your physical health. Your mental health needs care and attention. Don't be afraid to seek help, set boundaries, and prioritize yourself and your peace. In my 30s, I learn the power of saying no to protect my mental space. It's not selfish, it's essential. Number 39, be open to unconventional paths. The path to success doesn't always look the way you expect. Stay open to new opportunities, even if it takes you in direction, you never plan on going. You see, when I started investing internationally, it wasn't a part of my plan at all. But being open to that opportunity, led to some of the most rewarding projects that I'm actually doing right now. Okay, we're here at number 40, and this one is one of the most important lessons and one of the most important decisions you ever make in your life. And that's choosing your life partner. Out of all the decisions you make in your life, choosing your life partner is one of the most important. The person you decide to spend the rest of your life with will shape your happiness, your growth, and even your legacy. A true partner, someone who challenges you, supports you, and grows with you. They're not just there for the ride. They're there building the future with you. My wife has been my greatest teammate, my biggest supporter, and without her, a lot of the new stuff that I've achieved, you would have never seen. I would have never been possible. We celebrate our wins together. We work through the challenges as a team, and we consistently push each other to be better. When you choose the right partner, their success becomes your success, and your journey becomes something you truly share. These 40 lessons represents years of mistakes, growth, and experiences that have shaped who I am today. I'm sharing them with the hope that they'll inspire you to live with purpose, courage, and intention. Now, I want to hear from you, which one of these lessons resonates with you the most? Drop a comment below, and let's start a conversation. If you're on your own journey of growth and discovery, make sure you hit that subscribe button because there's much more to come. Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next video.